When someone you care about is scammed, your first reaction might be shock, frustration or disbelief. How could this happen? Why didn’t they tell me? Didn’t they see the red flags? But scams are designed to override logic and exploit emotion. They are calculated crimes—not signs of weakness or gullibility.
For victims, the impact goes far beyond financial loss. There’s often shame, grief, self-blame, and a deep sense of betrayal. Recovery isn’t just about getting money back—it’s about restoring trust, autonomy and emotional safety.
"I thought I was helping him"
Grace, a 58-year-old teacher from Ballarat, was swept into an online romance with “Michael,” a man claiming to be a widowed engineer working overseas. Over nine months, she sent more than $60,000—money she’d been saving for retirement.
When her daughter finally uncovered the truth, Grace was devastated. “I wasn’t stupid—I was lonely. And he made me feel like I mattered again.”
Her daughter’s support was critical. “She never yelled or blamed me,” Grace says. “She hugged me, helped me report it, and made me feel human again.”
Tip: Avoid judgmental language. Victims often already feel foolish. What they need is reassurance that they were manipulated, not naive.
"He didn't just lose money—he lost his confidence"
Ben, a 43-year-old tradie from Mildura, fell for an investment scam promoted by a fake celebrity video on social media. He transferred over $25,000 before realising the trading platform was a fraud.
“He was furious with himself,” says his partner, Sarah. “He kept saying, ‘I should’ve known better.’ But I reminded him—this wasn’t a mistake, it was a con. It’s a crime.”
Together, they contacted their bank. But Sarah says the emotional fallout lingered. “He started questioning all his decisions. Even at work, he hesitated to lead projects. It was like his confidence was stolen too.”
Tip: Help them rebuild trust in themselves. Encourage small wins, remind them of their strengths, and avoid reinforcing the idea that they “failed.”
"He told me I was an idiot"
Karen, 61, from Geelong, met someone through a popular dating app who claimed to be a retired pilot living in Sydney. Over six months, she sent $40,000, believing she was helping him recover from a financial dispute.
When she confided in her brother after suspecting something was wrong, the reaction crushed her. “He didn’t even let me finish,” Karen recalls. “He just said, ‘How could you be so stupid?’ and walked away.”
She withdrew further, deleting the app, avoiding calls, and struggling with self-worth. “I already felt foolish—his reaction just confirmed my worst fears.”
Karen eventually reached out to financial support services. “They didn’t judge me. They just listened. That’s all I really needed.”
Tip: Avoid shaming or ridicule. Even well-meaning frustration can deepen the victim’s sense of isolation. Focus on empathy, not blame.
"She blamed herself before anyone else had the chance to."
Lina, 72, was embarrassed to tell her family she’d been tricked by a caller claiming to be from her bank. She gave remote access to her computer, and they drained her savings within hours.
“She didn’t tell anyone for a week,” her grandson Tom explains. “She was too ashamed. She thought we’d say she was too old to be online.”
Instead, Tom calmly helped her secure her accounts, report the scam and install new security software. But what helped most was his consistent reassurance. “I told her, if someone broke into your house, you wouldn’t blame yourself. This is the same.”
Tip: Offer practical support—without taking over. Empower them to act but walk alongside them as they do.
Recovery Is Possible — With the Right Support
Scam recovery isn’t just about getting money back. It’s about helping a loved one feel safe, seen and supported again.
Here’s how you can help:
- Listen without judgement. Let them tell their story in their own time.
- Validate their emotions. Whether it’s anger, sadness or humiliation—it’s all valid.
- Encourage action. Reporting to banks, police and Scamwatch is empowering.
- Protect without patronising. Offer to help with future online decisions, but don’t treat them like a child.
- Stay connected. Isolation increases vulnerability. Regular contact reduces risk.
Being scammed is not a sign of ignorance — it’s a sign of how sophisticated and convincing scams have become.
With empathy, patience and the right support, recovery is possible.
Everyone deserves to feel confident and safe online, whether it’s navigating online dating, setting up stronger tech protections, or learning how to spot and shut down unsolicited scam calls. With the right tools and a supportive network, your loved one can move forward not just wiser, but more empowered than before.
We’ve partnered with BankVic to help keep our community safe from scams and criminal activity while online! Stay up to date with the latest tips and information in one convenient place, empowering you to prevent online crime and outsmart scammers. Together, we can create a safer internet for everyone!
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Been scammed?
Step 1
If you have given any financial details or have already lost money, contact your bank immediately.
It’s also important to change your passwords, monitor your accounts closely, and consider placing a fraud alert on your credit file.
Step 2
Report the scam to police at cyber.gov.au or at your nearest police station.
Additionally, report the scam to Scamwatch and your local authorities to help prevent others from falling victim.
If you think you have been scammed online, IDCARE can help for free! Call 1800 595 160 or visit their website www.idcare.org
Step 3
Getting scammed online does not mean you are not smart. Cybercrime keeps changing, so anyone can be a target. Do not be embarrassed or hard on yourself! Learn about new scams and take steps to stay safe instead.
If you need support after falling victim to a scam talk to friends and family or contact:
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
Step 4
If you have given any financial details or have already lost money, contact your bank immediately.aFinally, talk about different types of emerging scams and if you have been scammed share your experience with family and friends so they can better recognise the signs of scams.
Smart Scam Guide
Download a comprehensive guide to spotting scams. Download to learn about the most common scams and what to do if you have fallen victim to one.
